Pregnancy Peeves

Well, if you haven't noticed already, I'm pregnant. (Why else would I be planning a nursery for a random kid named Daniel?! See previous post if you're lost)

And, you know what? There are A LOT of misconceptions, opinions, theories, and assumptions when it comes to pregnancy. I have "liked" various mommy/kid/family pages on Facebook and saw a post on one of them yesterday that asked the question "Should pregnant women receive special treatment?". You guys - I was ASTONISHED at the answers I was reading! I'll answer personally at the end of this post to {hopefully} keep you reading ;)

Basically, women (and even a few men had the guts to speak up) who have been pregnant, and even women who hadn't, were chiming in on both sides of this topic. And frankly - both "sides" were being extremely rude about it. What happened to the day and age where logical conversation and good discussion could carry on without demeaning insults, dropping the F bomb (and company) every other word, and calling people names?!

On one side, there were the "I-could-do-everything-I-did-before-I-was-pregnant-and-so-should-you-quit-being-a-pansy" individuals. On the other, there were the "I-had-the-worst-pregnancy-ever-and-needed-help-with-everything-every-day-or-else-I-would-loose-the-baby" folks. Then there were the "I've-obviously-never-been-pregnant-but-ya'll-need-to-suck-it-up" guys...and a few girls.

Here's where I stand: no one should judge a pregnant woman because you have NO IDEA how she feels. Even if you're pregnant. Even if you've been pregnant. Even if you've been pregnant ten times. But especially if you haven't been. This being my second pregnancy I can say that this one is TOTALLY different than the last one.

With #1 I was sick the 1st trimester, but only for a day or so at a time. Starting in approx. week 8, I'd be nauseous, throw up, and then feel great. I threw up a total of 5 times, never twice on the same day. I couldn't eat a whole lot because nothing sounded appetizing, and lost 15 lbs. Once I got over that hurdle (exactly at week 12), I was GREAT! Weeks 13-38 were awesome. I had some round ligament pain every once in a while, and got tired a little quicker; but all in all I was feeling perfectly fine. {The last two to four weeks I had a lot of indigestion and was just feeling HUGE but again, nothing major}

This time around, I got sick starting at week 4 or 5. Nauseous ALL FLIPPING DAY LONG. I threw up ONCE {I think it was week 7 or 8}. There was absolutely NO relief except for sleeping. Which, with a toddler running around, wasn't exactly easy. Thank goodness for awesome in-laws and an amazing husband. I don't know how I got through the first trimester (plus a few weeks, because the sickness didn't end as abruptly and "promptly" at the end of the first trimester like last time). I'm always tired and can fall asleep anytime, anywhere. I feel HUGE already and feel now like I did 9 months pregnant last time. I have indigestion SO BAD I hate eating {but let's be real - I love eating so no, I'm not starving myself}.

I'm not complaining. I am so excited to be pregnant with our second child and I cannot wait to hold him {for many reasons} but I'm painting these two drastically different pictures to prove a point. During my first pregnancy it would have been super easy to "judge" the tired, cranky, not-put-together, sloppy pregnant lady because that wasn't me {now it is - ha!!}...but who am I to judge? As the saying goes, don't judge someone 'til you've walked a mile in their shoes.

Now, some of the "special treatments" that repeatedly came up in the above mentioned Facebook debate were closer parking, holding doors, giving up seats, cutting in line, and "freebies". Here's my personal opinion on these in particular:

Closer Parking - Heck yes. It should be an option. If you feel it's healthier to walk, then don't park there when you're pregnant. But this is a no-brainer to me for multiple reasons: 3rd trimester (speaks for itself), 1st trimester (so you can get to the trashcan quicker), pregnant with toddlers or just other children in general, and/or just for the sake of being courteous.
{Many of the arguments against it were its "unhealthy" not to walk and people abuse it....welcome to the real world, folks. Any privilege is abused by SOMEONE. That's no reason not to present it to others who might genuinely need/want/respect it.}

Holding doors/Giving up seats - Um, hello?! Isn't that called common courtesy?! This should be done for the elderly, pregnant, moms with babies/young children (or dads), etc....why would anyone be against this??

Cutting in line - Now...here's where I kinda ride the middle of the fence. I mean...if it's a bathroom issue and you see an obviously pregnant woman in line - just ask. She can always say "no thanks". I know I've been waiting for a stall before, though, and about to pee my pants, and this courtesy would've been great. :) I don't necessarily think just because I'm pregnant I should be allowed to cut in line at the grocery store, or at the bank...maybe at an outside event (to get inside quicker if it's very hot or very cold?) or something. I guess there just needs to be discretion in any case and both parties (pregnant and non) should be respectful and polite. {As anyone should be, at any time...which our society has seemed to forgotten which is why it needs to be said?! Ugh}

Freebies - Again, an "it depends" scenario. Free smoothie on a hot day? Yes please! Free HD TV just because? I wouldn't expect that one...haha

I think it all boils down to these things - respect, courtesy, manners, and entitlement. The first three are seriously lacking today; the last is utterly TOO common. And not just for pregnant mamas! This world we live in; this crazy "I'm entitled to _____; but how dare anyone else think they can get it for free" mentality just drives me up the wall.

I just felt compelled to bring some of this up and see where y'all stand. What do you think? If you've been pregnant did you get special treatment or not? Did you like it or not so much? I'd love to see your opinions. Keep 'em polite, respectful and clean please and thank you :)

XO